The tips below are from an article by Laura Francis , Chief Knowledge Officer of River, a Denver-based mentoring software company.
1. Ask questions
One of the main actions a mentor can take is to ask questions. When asking questions, looking for clarity, meaning, trying to help find patterns and guide them along the path of self-discovery. We never want our mentee to depend on us; We want them to be able to eventually reduce their need for us. By teaching them to ask themselves questions, the situations they face and the choices they will make, we give them the tools they need to be independent and successful.
2. Share ideas
We don’t want to control the conversation or dictate what the mentee should or shouldn’t do, but can certainly offer ideas about any situation they face. Ask them if they want to brainstorm ideas together; If they say yes, then start a conversation where you each share ideas and build your thoughts. You can serve as a sounding board for many of their ideas. Sometimes just hearing options is enough to help know what they do or don’t want to do in a career path or beyond. It can also help them see options they hadn’t considered.
3. Tell Stories
A great way to get an idea across is by sharing a story. Stories offer us a way to connect and show them that we understand what they are going through. It also shows that they are not alone and their situation is not unique. Someone has been through this before and navigated through the resulting challenges. Stories also allow us to make a personal connection by showing a vulnerable side in us. This happens most effectively when we share a story where we have failed or struggled. These can be great ways to help illustrate how things can be turned around and how a positive outcome can come from negative circumstances.
4. Dig deeper
Part of being a mentor is asking questions and going deeper into what we hear from the mentee. Maybe this means challenging their assumptions and taking them out of their comfort zone, or maybe it means looking for the reasons why they feel a certain way or believe a certain thing. We can ask searching questions to help discover truths, which can lead them to find solutions. We can even try asking “why” multiple times in response to each answer so we can begin to peel back the layers and find the root of the issue for long-term success.
5. Listen with Compassion
Sometimes, the best thing a mentor can do is simply listen—but there’s a caveat. This doesn’t mean we don’t ask questions, tell stories, or any of the other things suggested here, but we need to be aware of the moments when we should stop talking and start listening. When we listen, we must do so with compassion. Once we listen, we can ask the right questions to dig deeper into what the mentee is sharing and gain clarity about what they want to gain from the conversation. Sometimes we just need to vent; Other times we need a new perspective. Whatever the case, listen up.
6. Offer Encouragement
Mentors are chosen because they have been through a situation similar to that of the mentee, and the mentee wants to learn from them about their experience. When this is the case, it can be easy to fall into the trap of telling him what to do, especially since we’ve already been through it. Don’t do this, instead offer encouragement and provide a safe relationship where they can ask questions, share ideas, vent frustrations and seek a better understanding of the situation at hand. Encourage them through difficult situations, encourage them when they try a new (or uncomfortable) task and celebrate with them when they learn something and grow.
7. Make introductions
Introduce the mentee to people in your network who can help them. But, don’t feel obligated to do so. If you choose to do this, consider making very focused introductions with a clear and explicit goal that everyone agrees on. You don’t want to burden people in your network and make them feel uncomfortable with the request.